Jenny

This past weekend was incredibly busy. The highlight was an evening out with one of my oldest and dearest friends, Jenny. I can hardly believe the time that has passed since we had seen each other. The details of life tend to overwhelm me, sometimes for months at a time, and my biggest issue tends to be picking up the phone. Why am I so hesitant to pick up the phone? Anyway, I dropped Gloria off with my inlaws and headed into the city on the train. The weirdest thing happened on that train trip. A man who looked eerily like Kevin sat down next to me. I had to fight the urge to just stare at him. I was dying to start a conversation with him just so that I could see specifically why he wasn't like Kevin but of course there is no way to really do that. Finally, I realized that I could see him clearly in the window reflection without looking directly at him. This poor man probably sensed that I was tensed up, watching him, reacting to his every move. Truly, on closer examination he wasn't all that much like Kevin. However, he was tall, thin, pale and red headed. He was dressed in khaki pants and a button down shirt and reading some kind of computer manual. All in all, I wasn't totally crazy for being psyched out by the whole thing. It is only the second time I have run into someone that truly reminded me of Kevin (besides my father and brother in law). So, the evening started out with an emotional upheaval. It has been that kind of season for me.

I feel a change coming. I don't even really know why I have this sense of my universe shifting, but it's there. Talking with Jenny was a good way to put my past 30 years in perspective (as far as is possible). I have come through a lot of things, and my life doesn't have to be entirely defined by losing Kevin. Still, as I write those words I think to myself that I still feel very defined by that.

I cannot seem to stay on topic tonight. Jenny and I went to a fantastic little Argentinian Steak house called Folklore in Bucktown. Jenny especially wowwed me with her fearless city driving! How did I not know that she was this sophisticated and confident woman? I felt like a grandma taking my train into the city and then wandering around looking for her like I had no idea what I was doing. The restaurant was a dimly lit, candle infused nook with the best steak I have ever had. They served us giant fillets, spinach mashed potatoes and my first empanada. The night was just the right combination of reminiscing about the past and catching up on current situations.

It was also a great opportunity to put my faith into perspective. I have been very lapse in my faith for a long time now and in the past couple of weeks I have felt God really tugging at my heartstrings. So, after my evening with Jenny I felt re-inspired to pursue my relationship with God. I know it will be hard, but I also know that putting God first will help all of these other issues fall into place. Time will tell!