Smile :-)

Ok, I am starting to be at peace with the fact that not all blog posts have to be lengthy gems of wisdom. That realization came after re-reading some of my blog posts and realizing that, while much of my posts are lengthy, very few contain anything that could be conceived as wisdom. This is day two of getting my butt to the gym before doing anything else. Usually I wake up in the morning and waste a good amount of time stressing about all of the cleaning/straightening that should be done but never seems to be finished. Inevitably I complete a few small necessary tasks such as washing the dishes and doing a load of laundry, and I never get to the piles of three-year-old toys, etc. that have encroached upon all of my house. I may do some mindless internet surfing in between tasks but I never do anything that I truly enjoy, like writing or reading, cooking or actually playing with my daughter, and I especially never make it to the gym. My new philosophy: get up and get to the gym. The other stuff can wait (as it usually does anyway) and I always feel more motivated anyway once I've worked out.

I have to start unbelievably slowly because of my fibromyalgia. It is frustrating, because usually when I first start working out I will have this rush of feeling good and want to get into the workout more. It is at this point that I have to tell myself to stop because too much too soon equals a lot of pain and starting back at square one. The soreness and fatigue are a constant battle for me. I have gained so much weight over the past two years and I start to feel like nothing is ever going to get better. I am not heading down that negative path today and instead I am feeling very proud and content that I made it to the gym both today and yesterday.

I can only hope that this momentum keeps going. I have got to put one foot in front of another until I have gone far enough in the journey to look back with pride. Is life really supposed to be this hard? I cannot wait to turn thirty this coming November and put this whole decade behind me. It started out really well but the past five years have been the slowest of all. I have to believe that good things are out on the horizon. Deep breath. Now . . . smile!