A Snappy Observation

Ok, I have a few funny stories to relay.

First, Gloria has decided that she loves how pretty her Hello Kitty band-aids and her monkey band-aids are, so she grabbed my red marker to make "owwies" on her leg that I had to kiss and bandage. So, the girl likes to accessorize in any which way seems fun.

Second, my dad and brother and dad in law were all toiling under the heavy load of drywall yesterday. They were each struggling, sweating, and generally exhausted by the process when my dad yells out, "These are the times the try men's souls," a Thomas Paine quote that he undoubtedly picked up during his 25 years of marriage to an English teacher.

Third, I had a cell phone conversation with my grandma while in the car to pick Gloria up from my in-laws. I decided to meet her and my Uncle Dave & family at Culvers for dinner right after getting Gloria. Sometime between hanging up the phone and getting Gloria from my in-laws I totally forgot that I was supposed to meet them. I actually drove through the Taco Bell drive through a few blocks down on my way home because I was hungry. I finally remembered at 10:00 tonight after I had already called my grandma and left an unrelated message on her machine. So, I had to call back and eat crow, since I had obviously just shut my entire brain down at some point and never found it until much later. So, it has been a hard day with amusing moments. I will be sure to record more of those moments as they come.

The bad news is that my mom continues to be sick. She has had a fever and pain for two weeks now and is not getting better even with antibiotics. Yesterday a new pain started in, a swelling in her knees that made it difficult for her to walk. She would also get suddenly lightheaded and have to sit down. So, thankfully, my dad took her to Edward Hospital tonight to get a bunch of tests run. Thus far it sounds like she just had a bad reaction to a medication and will be fine, but they are keeping her overnight for observation. Oh, it scares me to think of my mom being in pain. I just want to rush to the hospital and curl up next to her for comfort. Of course, she would be comforting me about herself. It is a strange situation that happens from time to time. I know I lived through many a moment like that with Kevin. He didn't know what to say when I was so scared and crying because I worried about HIM. He just held me. But I guess that is a topic for another day.

The writer in me wants to put it all out there. I want to stop pussyfooting around what I feel are issues with certain people and who cares if they are offended. I mean, I want to vent and I deserve to vent. The person I would normally vent to, my sister, is friends with this person. So, I feel like she listens but can't really join in the advice part of it all. She is still friends with him, which makes me feel sad and left out. But it really doesn't matter. I am annoyed with him. I feel like he thought I wasn't attractive enough to be worthy of dating him. I feel like he led me to believe that he was an open and positive person who didn't want to play games, and then proceeded to play a lot of games. I feel like one week he was telling me that he loved me, that he felt like circumstances had brought us together at this time in our lives to know each other, and a week later he feels I am "needy," "too sensitive" and "my niceness overwhelms him." What is that? I was running towards this emotional connection, the ideas about what we saw for the future and wanted in a partner. He apparently was looking for more of a pal to hang out with sometimes who could be around when he felt like it, disappear when he didn't feel like it, have a perfect body, and obviously someone who didn't have the inconvenience of a child. I start to get pissed because he lead me to believe that he cared about me, that he saw the pain I have lived through, and that he wasn't going to be the kind of guy to walk all over me. In the end, he walked all over me. So, there is my rant. There is my righteous anger. It doesn't come out often, but here it is. I am not the most beautiful woman, and I have a daughter with high demands, but I am a lover, a fighter, an honest and loyal freind, and I want nothing more than to be helpful to people that I care about. So, if this guy thinks I am fat, needy, freaky, and boring I am just sorry that I ever cared enough about him that I feel sad about it now.