Empowerment

I am choosing for today to be the beginning of empowerment. I know it sounds cliche and honestly, it is cliche, but it is not invalid either. It started with listening to Justin Timberlake talking about how he would write a song for his love. It made me realize that something like that is supposed to be spontaneous and inspired, not forced and derived. Next, I stopped by the cemetary to "water" Kevin and have one of my candid chats with him. I am not sure that he directly hears me but I do believe that God gets the messages across. I talked about the good things from our relationship, how he was always excited to see me and made me feel important. I loved that with him I never doubted his love for me. It reinforced that I deserve to feel that kind of secure love. Finally, a glorious thunderstorm rolled in with lightening and the thick, heavy drops of rain on my moon roof. I felt alive again, I felt connected to the earth and God again, I felt a rush of reality that I hadn't felt since I was so much more innocent. Now, I feel like the time is ripe to reclaim myself.



JR took me for a lovely date. We went to Chinn's 34th street Fishery in Downers Grove. It is a perfect little seafood restaurant where we had crab and artichoke fondue, as well as a delightful waiter. I swear, we almost fought over who liked the waiter more. He said things like "Oh, just be a glutton" and "that is SO fantastic." The best part was that when JR glanced down he noticed that in addition to his nice white shirt, tie, apron and dress pants were shiny black Nike shoes. It was so unexpected, like he was planning on doing a lot of major walking that night. Can I just say that coming across a truly happy and enthusiastic person is one of the best things about being alive.