The Albatross

There is a poem entitled The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge . There is an image from this poem that has stayed with me in times of trouble:

'Instead of the cross, the Albatross

About my neck was hung.'

The idea of taking our guilt & our sin and hanging it about our neck, instead of the grace of God, is so striking. I mean, it is somewhat ridiculous to envision a large seabird hung about my neck, weighing me down, and yet it fits the mood that has hovered over me the past week while waiting for news on the house. Finally, as the mariner begins to come to terms with his own sin,

'The self-same moment I could pray;

And from my neck so free

The Albatross fell off, and sank

Like lead into the sea.

Oh sleep! It is a gentle thing,

Beloved from pole to pole

To Mary Queen the praise be given!

She sent the gentle sleep from Heaven

That slid into my soul [. . .]

I moved, and could not feel my limbs:

I was so light - almost

I thought that I had died in sleep,

And was a blessed ghost'

Again, the image of the albatross hung around his neck, holding him down and anchoring him to his own sins, is seared in my memory. The idea of what was once a good omen, the thing that seemed to make the breeze move my ship smoothly through the water, becoming the weight of death around my neck, is rooted deep within me. Finally, I am touched by the idea that once the omen is lifted and the albatross falls from his neck, he becomes so light and free, almost like the liberation of death. The final lines of the poem describe the man who was told this tale of woe:

'He went like one that hath been stunned

And is of sense forlorn:

A sadder and wiser man,

He rose the morrow morn.'

I feel like I have had an albatross around my neck, something which started as good luck and swiftly turned to a lead weight holding me down. Now the albatross has finally been cut from around my neck, and I feel infinitely lighter. Though it feels good to be liberated, I still feel a sense of being "sadder and wiser" for having lived through the drama.