Brookfield Zoo Adventure

Today I went to the Brookfield Zoo with Lil' G and Bud. Bud is a zoo member so we didn't have to pay for parking or tickets to get in! We were supposed to meet up with his ex-girlfriend and their daughter, Allie, as well as her husband and other daughter, Mason. They were running really late so we walked around and saw bison, a cute zebra poking just his head out as if to say, "I want to know what is going on out here but it's too cold to come all of the way out!" We also saw wolves, which I have never seen out in the summertime. The lights were really beautiful all through the zoo. Around the fountain the trees would light up in time with music for a ten minute show. Then, we went to the dorky lazer show for a few minutes just to laugh about it. By then Shannon and her husband, Derek, had shown up with Allie and Mason. So, we walked around enjoying the lights.

At around the time Shannon and her family arrived the zoo itself had started to get crowded, so I started to feel more stress. It was nice walking around with Bud and talking, watching Gloria get all excited and not feeling any pressure. Shannon seems to be a quiet person. Bud said that she had wanted to see me, and I am sure that she wanted to give condolances and all, but it was just hard to do in this situation. Anyway, if I continue to talk to Bud I will certainly see Shannon and her family again. She does seem like a really loving and caring mom with her kids, and I felt like maybe she didn't know what to say to me. Oh, and it might be awkward since she and Bud used to be together and then he is taking me and my daughter to the zoo.

No one worry, this was not a date. In fact, he actually inquired about Sarah (who he met at Quigleys last night). He mentioned that she is pretty and seems like a sweet person. I told him I would put in the good word for him. It kind of made me feel like an invisable woman. I know that he respected Kevin and respects me, so it isn't like I expected him to ask me out on a real date, but at the same time we have been talking a lot and hanging out and so it felt sad for him to tell me that he was thinking Sarah is cute. So, there is my vulnerable rant.

There is something so painful about easing into personhood again. When you have been numb for so long you don't realize the burn and sting of trying to find real feeling again.