Here's to Hoping!

I have had a crazy past week with lots of strange drama. As usual, I'd rather not spill details across a public blog, but still like the outlet for all of the crazy emotions. Father's day was hard, as it always is, without Kevin. I was fortunate to have the day off of work and be able to spend it with my family. My father-in-laws birthday was Tuesday so we combined the two events. My mom in law, Jesse and Susan and I chipped in to get him a Margaritaville. We had a good afternoon in spite of the stifling heat. When the whole family is together like that I have an overwhelming feeling that Kevin is just around the corner. I look at Gloria and almost can't stand that Kevin isn't here to be her proud Daddy. I can just see how he would be, so happy and loving, and hate that it has to be in my head and not real. I took a picture of my father in law and his dad, Grandpa Henry, and had to go upstairs and cry for five minutes just for wishing that Kevin were in the picture. My father in laws birthday was Tuesday and he turned 55. He is such a wonderful man and it was fun to watch him dance to the Happy Birthday song.

Onto happier news, my brother Adam proposed to his girlfriend of four years, Julie, on Monday! Julie is the sweetest person I have ever known. She has her degree in Education and currently works as a nanny. She and Adam have always been sweet together and we all hoped that they would get married. I already feel like she is a sister and can't wait for them to make it official. They don't have a date set yet but it will definitely be within the next year. I have to say I am hoping to be a bridesmaid, but certainly understand that weddings are always emotionally packed and feel happy either way.

Today I went out with Gloria to The Growing Place to look for a Morning Glory for my mailbox and a dragonfly stepping stone for my yard. Afterword we went to our favorite store, Costco, to buy a watermelon and dishwasher detergent. How fun! Gloria threw a temper tantrum, but I weathered the storm. I have to say I am really looking forward to her turning three.

July fourth is coming up. For whatever reason it seems to be a very emotional day for me. Last year was a total disaster, with tensions running high and my boyfriend ditching me to hang out with my sister. Fortunately, I did make it to the fireworks with my inlaws and enjoyed having Gloria get so excited. This year I think I need to fool-proof my plan so that my expectations are low and I can enjoy myself no matter what. I work in the morning and into the early afternoon, and think that I will just plan to be with family and friends. One great thing is that I love barbecue, and 4th of July always equals barbecue. Here's to remaining positive in the face of uncertainty!