Tea Party

Today I had a lovely tea party at my house with my sister-in-law Liz, my friend Jenny, Lil' G and Big G. Liz and I made a beautiful bundt cake with my Bee Hive bundt cake pan from Williams-Sonoma and my mom made the fruit tart in her new tart pan (also from WS). Jenny had spent the morning helping chaperone 18 eight-year-old boys at a birthday party at Enchanted Castle, so she was ready for a "serene" afternoon. Liz and I both got dressed up, and Lil' G was in an adorable outfit, as usual. We decided to invite my Grandma as well, since she has hosted so many tea parties at her home. It was so much fun to have a whimsical afternoon. It reminded me of the sweeter parts of life, the moments that you make special by putting the effort in. One of the sweetest memories of growing up was when my mom had a birthday tea party for my little doll Cindy.

It is a strange juxtaposition to have such sweet innocent fun and yet in the background my heart is still so broken for Kevin. Without Kevin to talk to any longer, this blog with hopefully become my outlet to share the meaningless things, the jokes, the conversations that help my mind keep peace with the world around me. I have always felt like who I am internally and the way that "they" function in the outside world made me some horrible freak. Kevin listened to my rants and ravings, my jokes and insecurities, and he made me liveable again. Right now, I feel like without Kevin as an interpretor for me I don't know how to make that connection to live again. Instead I am bumbling along the wall of normalcy with no one to confide in and tell me when I am being crazy or when the world is being crazy. He was a good negotiator that way,

Back to the tea party. We had two teas: Constant Comment Original and Fortune's International Blueberry Vanilla Tea. Both were fantastic and steeped well before sipping. I think of tea parties as the anti-girls night out drinking festivals. Instead of going out wasting money you don't have on alcohol, being obnoxiously trying to make yourself feel better by asking everyone if they love you only to pass out on the floor and wake up miserable and cranky at best for the next two days. Instead, you could come to my home on a lovely afternoon (sunshine is invigorating, rain is cozy and calming) sit at a pretty table cloth, pick out which pretty little china tea cup you will use, sit and chat with friends eating small cakes and sandwiches with soothing music in the background. Also, you can wear something that makes you feel beautiful and proud. So, I am making it my mission to bring back Afternoon Tea to my friends and family. This was tea party number one. Someday, I honestly dream of opening my own tea shoppe in Naperville or Glen Ellyn,

Kevin would have enjoyed the entertainment aspect of owning a tea house. He actually had little tea parties with just the two of us and we would use our fine bone china pot and cups. It was so sweet and wonderful the way he understood why "silly little things" like that really do matter,